Ask GRLZ: Am I a loser?! Response by Amandine Cardichon

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This week we have some advice for Linda* who wants to know if her idea of fun makes her...well... not fun! To the rescue is this week's Ask GRLZ correspondent, Amandine!

Dear GRLZ,
I’ve been really struggling lately with my friends. They are getting into a lot of things and want me to join in. Recently, they’ve started experimenting with alcohol and marijuana. I don’t want to do any of those things, but I also don’t want to look like a loser while all of my friends are having fun. Long story short, I feel like my friends are growing up and having fun, and I’m not. What do I do?

Linda

Hey Linda,

I completely get what you're going through. It's totally normal for you to feel like you're being left out when you're not into all of the things that everyone else is. High school is a common time when people start experimenting with everything inside and outside of school, including alcohol and drugs. So, it is not surprising that your friends are beginning to get curious about and participating in these things, and for you to feel a little weird about not being interested is completely OKAY! You should never feel the need to do the things your friends are doing, especially if you’re not comfortable with it. As real as peer pressure is, you shouldn’t disregard your own moral beliefs. Another thing to consider is this: not only are drugs and alcohol not cool, they can also be very dangerous. The younger that children and teenagers start habits like drinking, the greater the possibility that it could lead to abuse/addiction in the future. So, you should feel proud of yourself for being able to say no! Furthermore, if your friends are pushing you to do things you are uncomfortable with, whatever it is, it would be wise to reconsider your whole relationship with them, because true friends wouldn’t do that.

Sure, drinking and smoking may seem like fun to them, but because it doesn't align with your definition of a good time, do what you want! Whether it’s reading a book, having Netflix marathons, cleaning your room, going skating, playing sports or any and everything in between, do whatever positive alternative is fun to you. You don’t have to worry about not feeling grown up. Maturity is reached when you start doing things for yourself even if it isn’t what’s seen as “cool.” Your friends may seem grown up because they’re doing these things; but, in reality, you are the mature one because you’re taking responsibility for what you want for your life even if it’s not what the people around you view as fun or cool.

All in all, you shouldn’t be friends with people who continue pressuring you into the “fun” things you don’t want to do. Stay true to your beliefs and yourself, and do what you’re comfortable with even if it isn’t the norm. Different is cool and unique is special!

 

Wishing you  all the best,

Amandine

Tekeisha Meade