Welcome to Self-Love by Sarah Hayek
Standing here in front of my bathroom mirror, I realize something. I realize that I’m okay. I come from years and years of constant pain and anger. I was left drained, mentally, physically and emotionally. I was lost, broken and lonely. Depression drove me to nights of suicide attempts, anger caused my knuckles to bleed, nights of crying and holding back my tears, aching my lungs and ribs while I am struggling to breathe. I lost myself in the world. I was unable to love myself and heal myself. All the love that I had was given to everyone but myself. I constantly went out of my way for people while I was breaking. I understood, cared, loved, healed and saved those in need. I owed all those components of compassion to myself. None was reciprocated. And being able to stand here, right now, in the mirror, being able to smile and love the person who is staring back at me is all I have ever prayed for. I am so proud to say that I know myself.
I am a strong woman who stood on her own two feet through all the flames life fired without the need of anyone else-- without the need of a man’s love. I am proud to say that I will no longer put anyone before me. Call me cold or selfish, but it is about time I become a self FULL woman. I deserve it. I know I do. Life has been one struggle after another. It’s been error after error, but I have faith. Faith that life will be okay. That I will be okay. Next time I see a person in need of care, I will stop and ask myself if I am okay before giving to another. If the answer is no, I will not handout my love to anyone before myself. It has been such a peaceful feeling to finally know that I am okay. To know that I am beautiful. I’ve come from such a low point, but after today I say no more. No more chasing, no more crying, no more giving to others before myself. I will be self-full because I owe it to me. I hit rock bottom, lost people I prayed and hoped would be in my life forever; I am no longer in need of those who wish to leave. I love myself and that’s the greatest love I will ever need. This is who I am. This is a new chapter of my story.